Wow – this is quite the comment, and I truly appreciate your feedback and thoughts. What I have to say about this is actually pretty simple. The right guy will *want* to make you happy. If you’re asking for little things in a kind way, and he shrugs it off as a “woman thing,” then he’s not the right person for you, and he’s got a lot of growing up to do. I’m sorry if you’ve had to deal with that. Just know you deserve better.

In the case of those of us whom you feel might need a “womaning-up” lecture, however gentle … sometimes there’s a reason for that.

(And you allude to it yourself here, when you say this

“But I have to wonder… had I written the exact same thing but coming from a woman’s point of view, would I be tarred and feathered for looking like I’m bitter, or worse, asking for something that shouldn’t be asked?”

.)

The thing is — and I’ve expressed this to more than one dating coach/guru/expert-type person — that men are lauded for behavior for which women are punished when they – we – do the exact same thing.

If you are direct and a woman, the likelihood that you will be deemed “unladylike” or “unfeminine” or “confrontational” or “aggressive” or my personal favorite, “SUCH a b*tch” — with concomitant punishments, both personal and professional, is … let’s just say substantial enough that I could come up with all those pejoratives right off the top of my head.

And there’s something else. You can say “Please call me” or “I’d prefer a phone call” or “Have you ever considered that it takes five minutes to solve with a phone call what it takes an hour to resolve over text? And haven’t you said you’re a man who values his time?” all you want …

… but if you’re dealing too frequently (and if you’re in Western culture, the media of which we’re all subsumed with, it’s waaaaaaay too frequent, quite frankly) with a man who has “You’re Not the Boss of Me!/You Can’t Tell Me What to Do! (’cause that makes me less of an Independent Man in my head)” syndrome, or “I’m Going to Nod When You Talk But Pay No Attention To What You’re Actually Saying” syndrome, or (again) my personal favorite, “Women Don’t Know Anything” syndrome …

… then it doesn’t matter what you say, and it doesn’t matter how often you speak up — speaking up is not going to solve the problem.

(Nor is moving on, necessarily, because those are all different men with those syndromes, and there is certainly more than one man with each one.)

So … suggestions at that point …?