This is not how it really works. Women swipe on too many Tinder profiles, then complain about excessive messages. So Bumble requires women to send the first message. But women generally don’t send a real message. They just send a “hi” or an emoticon. Or they self-congratulate on the fortitude it takes to send the first message. It is still up to the man to make all the real moves.

You demand that men ask, men plan, men pay, day dates, coffee dates, convenient nearby dates, dates planned on the app, with no investment from yourself. You don’t even provide a phone number, facilitating flaking and ghosting. This will get you high-quantity, low-quality dates.

I think you wrote about regular hook ups with a Baltimore paramour. Other men can sense that you aren’t especially available, and might exploit them while getting your sexual needs met elsewhere. Then you miss many high-quality men, and risk staying single long after age 30. For example, Jeremy refused to do a low-investment coffee date, and demanded an evening date with alcohol. Men with options like Jeremy have standards.

Google “date flaked on me” gives mostly results about women. Your male cohost Chris got flaked three times in a row!
https://pancakemouse.wordpress.com/2018/03/30/my-date-flake-rate-in-san-francisco-in-2018-is-61-percent/

In addition to outnumbering women on most dating sites, men initiate most messages, plan dates, and pay. You went on 90 coffee dates in a year, expecting men to pay and make it easy. With no investment, women lose nothing by flaking.

Your female perspective might be valuable to men. But your advice caters to women. It does not address effective and efficient strategies for men. Why should a shrewd desirable man get in line to buy you a coffee and audition for a real date when you don’t have enough regard to give your number? A man with options should screen for a woman who is interested and DTF.

This article was targeting female readers — that is true. I don’t, however, agree that women flake at a higher rate. Both genders complain to me about the same amount. If you know if a study showing this, I’m all ears!

It sounds like you’ve had some less than pleasant dating experiences. Happy to talk through it if you like.

Glad you enjoyed. If I’ve helped even one guy avoid a misstep, I consider the article to be a success.