Comments on: “Why Can’t I Find a Man of My Caliber?” https://www.alittlenudge.com/2020/07/finding-a-good-man/ Wed, 03 Feb 2021 00:00:29 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.8.2 By: kim https://www.alittlenudge.com/2020/07/finding-a-good-man/#comment-213443 Wed, 03 Feb 2021 00:00:29 +0000 https://www.alittlenudge.com/?p=1868#comment-213443 In reply to Dr Ben.

I would like to point out that many 27 year old women would find you way too old . So while men might want a younger woman, there is a type of younger woman who is only attracted to a man so much older. I thinking because you will “take” care of her. My daughter is 25 and she would call 43 an old man – like her fathers friends age. She prefers a young virile man around her age.
As a widow at 58 I would prefer a man my age or a bit younger because most men havent taken care of their health. And I dont want to be their nurse.
Financially, I dont need a mans money which is actually difficult because most men I meet are not financially secure.

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By: Erika https://www.alittlenudge.com/2020/07/finding-a-good-man/#comment-204215 Wed, 08 Jul 2020 01:40:35 +0000 https://www.alittlenudge.com/?p=1868#comment-204215 In reply to Tom M..

Same goes for men, regardless of looks or anything else. Leave the past in the past.

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By: Tom M. https://www.alittlenudge.com/2020/07/finding-a-good-man/#comment-204207 Tue, 07 Jul 2020 18:45:38 +0000 https://www.alittlenudge.com/?p=1868#comment-204207 In reply to KL.

Women need to have more than just anger, damage, and arrogance to bring to the party even if they are HOT! That is true at any age.

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By: Tom M. https://www.alittlenudge.com/2020/07/finding-a-good-man/#comment-204206 Tue, 07 Jul 2020 18:41:42 +0000 https://www.alittlenudge.com/?p=1868#comment-204206 You’re advice is spot on Erika!
Too many Karens and feminists – they are often unhappy and seriously damaged. They should be SEEKING and not just “looking for”. Seeking implies purpose and having realistic goals. They want a highly successful, Alpha Male? Then they need to stop trying to be an alpha female – it will NEVER work.

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By: Charles S. https://www.alittlenudge.com/2020/07/finding-a-good-man/#comment-204205 Tue, 07 Jul 2020 15:34:37 +0000 https://www.alittlenudge.com/?p=1868#comment-204205 First, Dr. Ben’s comments read like a bunch of excuses made by somebody trying to give merit to their poor dating choices. And even if what Ben said is true, what happens when the young woman ages? Trade her in for a new one like you would an old car?

Anyway, I have to agree with what Erika and Carl said. I dated a bunch before meeting the woman I’m with now and what I found was that there are a ton of women that turn dating in to more of a shopping experience. They would even have numbered lists of requirements right in their profiles. Now, I can understand things like religion and stuff but some of these lists were absurd. The point is that many of the woman dating these days are flooded with a ton of men and start sifting through them like they would clothing on a rack, and as such start applying filtering criteria to help them sort. Not entirely a bad thing but they soon forget that relationships are about compatibility and forming connections, not what color his eyes are or if he is 6′ tall vs 5’9″. Successful woman have more problems as well in that they often forget about the things that men are attracted to, such as softness, femininity and simply letting the man be the man. The biggest issue I found though was that many women in my age group of mid 30s to early 40s simply never learned how to form connections or be in a long term relationship. Divorced women seemed to be the exception.

I feel I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the biggest complaint I heard from women during my dating, and that was that a lot of men weren’t looking for a relationship, but instead something more casual. Many expressed frustration and disgust with encountering and trying to filter out such men.

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By: Erika https://www.alittlenudge.com/2020/07/finding-a-good-man/#comment-204190 Mon, 06 Jul 2020 19:57:12 +0000 https://www.alittlenudge.com/?p=1868#comment-204190 In reply to Dr Ben.

While I respect what you’re saying, I cannot agree that “SINGLE women who are my age or older lack the femininity and loving characteristics that younger women possess.” This is simply not true. Also not true: Fertility diminishes significantly at age 30. This article wasn’t at all about age. It was about looking at a person as a well-rounded being and not a resume.

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By: Dr Ben https://www.alittlenudge.com/2020/07/finding-a-good-man/#comment-204184 Mon, 06 Jul 2020 10:04:13 +0000 https://www.alittlenudge.com/?p=1868#comment-204184 Interesting discussion here. I can sympathize with the women wanting someone who is at their level. I have had a hard time finding partners who “have it all” too. The reality is that noone is perfect. In fact, a perfect partner would probably end up being rather boring. However, the men that this 50 year old successful woman is looking for are dating younger women. It is a simple fact that men like me: successful, attractive, and with options usually date younger women. Just as this woman isn’t attracted to men who don’t meet her standards I’m not attracted to women who are too “dominant”. Younger women are usually more flexible, more willing to build a life together, and give me the room to be myself. Younger women are also more furtile: things get harder and harder with respect to fertility above 30. Men like me have options: I’m 43 and dating a 27 year old now. We love each other very very much and our relationship works because of the dynamics between us. It seems to me that SINGLE women who are my age or older lack the femininity and loving characteristics that younger women possess. I do have female friends that possess the warmth, fun, and youthful energy I find so attractive… but none of them are single. I would guess that they aren’t single in large part because they “know how to treat a man”. Unfair as it may be the truth is this: a man of value will not drop his standards to date an older more difficult women any more than an older women will drop her standards to date a man she finds “beneath” her. This is a natural consequence of our modern society: career women have fewer and fewer dating options and are competing with younger more attractive women for the same small pool of men. I do empathize with the women my age and older, but this is a natural consequence of the decisions that they made. When I was a younger man building my life, I was not as attractive as I am now. Women who rejected me then would love to have a shot now. That is a simple spiritual consequence of dating and mating. We are attracted to who we are attracted to. I would encourage the women in this passage to work on herself to improve her attractiveness and femininity. A masculine man like me would find her attitude simply a turn off. Men aren’t ONLY attracted to age, but when you combine her age and her attitude… it’s a no go.

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By: Erika https://www.alittlenudge.com/2020/07/finding-a-good-man/#comment-204156 Sat, 04 Jul 2020 20:27:39 +0000 https://www.alittlenudge.com/?p=1868#comment-204156 In reply to KL.

Sounds like we have a cynic on our hands.

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By: Erika https://www.alittlenudge.com/2020/07/finding-a-good-man/#comment-204155 Sat, 04 Jul 2020 20:26:30 +0000 https://www.alittlenudge.com/?p=1868#comment-204155 In reply to Diana.

My pleasure.

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By: KL https://www.alittlenudge.com/2020/07/finding-a-good-man/#comment-204153 Sat, 04 Jul 2020 19:12:18 +0000 https://www.alittlenudge.com/?p=1868#comment-204153 Funny, Erika wrote an online dating profile that bragged about a woman client’s M.B.A. and education career. Have you changed your approach?

Your late 50’s woman client wants a “financially secure” man to pay for “international experiences”. Affluent men in their 50’s will choose younger women. Older men will be retired. Pick your poison – older sugar daddies, 50’s men struggling to pay child support, or cats.

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