There’s a section on Plenty of Fish, Jdate, and a few other sites that says, “My perfect first date.” As I peruse people’s responses, I’m overwhelmed by the sheer number of people who say, “Dinner,” or worse, “A nice, long dinner.” I don’t know about you, but I’d be hard-pressed to devote two hours of my life to someone I’ve never met in person. Now, I’m not saying you can’t have dinner with someone on the first date – quite the opposite. But instead of scheduling it ahead of time, you should just leave the option open. You can always add dinner, but you can’t take it back.

On my first date with Jeremy, we made plans to meet after work for a drink. I had arranged to meet up with a friend at a party later that night, so that when the drink was over (or if the date wasn’t going well), I had my out. And I was actually looking forward to the party. I warned my friend, though, that if I ended up liking this guy, I wouldn’t be joining her and the others. Lo and behold, I did have fun, and I did like this guy. Jeremy asked me if I wanted to have dinner after the drink, and I agreed. (Even though I had already eaten after work since I didn’t know when I’d have a chance to have dinner!) It ended up being a six-hour date… and the rest is history. (We now have an official move-in date!)

It’s ok to make plans that aren’t set in stone after a date. You shouldn’t schedule one-on-one plans because you don’t want to stand your friend up, but it’s ok to have plans with a group or a party… or with a glass of wine on your couch watching Beaches if you’re so inclined. That way, if the date doesn’t go well, it’s no biggie – you have other plans to look forward to and can salvage the night. And if it does go well, you can continue the fun date, like I did. Back-to-back booking is ok? You bet.

So, rather than committing to dinner on “your perfect first date,” how about this instead: “We start out with a drink, and six hours, some dinner, and some flirtatious banter later, we’re still enjoying each other’s company.” That sounds pretty perfect to me.

Curious to know what my “perfect first date” section said? Click here.

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Got burning questions you’d like answered in a future blog post? E-mail date411@alittlenudge.com

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June 1, 2011

 
As the weather starts to get blistering hot, and the last thing you want is a glass of red wine by a fireplace, it’s time to start thinking about summer date ideas, especially first date ideas.

Summer is a time for BBQ and beer, baseball games and corn hole (which I am surprisingly good at – who knew?), pools and margaritas. But before you get so excited and plan a first date (with someone you met online) at a baseball game, let’s start with a critical lesson…

No dinner or extra-long activities on a first date… just drinks or coffee.

As open as I was to meeting everyone and giving most people not just one, but two chances (see All Men Go Bald…And Have Earwax and The Rule of Two), there are some dates where you show up and just know it’s not going to work out. Do you really want to sit through a whole meal or three-hour baseball game with someone who gives you the heebie-jeebies? That’s what I thought.

Now that we got that out of the way, let’s talk about some great summer date choices for both first dates and beyond.

First Date

Here are some ideas in DC and NYC with outdoor bars or roof decks:
DC: http://dc.metromix.com/bars-and-clubs/roundup/washington-d-c-s/1124260/content
NYC: http://newyork.citysearch.com/list/95711
Most coffee shops also have outdoor seating areas so those are a safe bet, too.

Second date… and beyond

Now, once you’ve moved on from the first date, this is where it gets more fun and creative. I’m going to list some good second (and beyond) date ideas for DC, but I’d be happy to talk to you about these ideas in any other city as well. I just happen to know my home turf best.
– Hiking in Great Falls
It’ll show your athleticism, and you’ll have beautiful scenery all around you.
– Monuments at night
Beautiful. Do a little research and impress your date with random facts. “Did you know the Washington Monument was started 36 years before it was completed?” “Wow!” – insert adoring eyes here – “You’re so smart… and cute too.”
– A picnic or board games on the Mall or at Meridian Hill Park
Both cute and competitive
– A baseball game
So much fun – beer, peanuts, yelling. What more could you want?
– Miniature golf (http://dc.about.com/od/golf/a/MiniatureGolf.htm)
Make it even more fun by creating a little bet at some of the holes. Example: The person who takes more shots on the next hole has to cook dinner the following week.
– Paddle boating on the Tidal Basin
A team-effort with great scenery
– Wine tasting
Enjoy a fun-filled day at a few Virginia wineries (better as a group so you have a designated driver)
– Kayaking from Jack’s Boat House in Georgetown
Also a team effort, and there are picnic tables there for when you’re done
– A walk in Old Town Alexandria (and/or taking the water taxi to/from there from Georgetown)
Fun, good shopping, scenic, a change of pace from downtown
– Frozen yogurt (at one of the 10,000 choices we have)
Stereotypical hot-day activity
– See an outdoor movie (http://dc.about.com/od/filmfestivals/tp/OutdoorMovies.htm)
If it’s going well, you can cozy up on a blanket.
– Eastern Market
Enjoy the outdoors and see what all the vendors have to offer. If you get hungry, head to one of the restaurants in 8th St. SE.
– Go to the zoo
Who doesn’t like a panda?
Or nothing beats taking a good old-fashioned walk.

Enjoy and happy dating!

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