Over the years, I’ve been known as LovesLifeDC, SassyScotchLover, SmartNSassy, and SassClassWhisky.  No, these aren’t nicknames I got from friends in college or at my first job.  These were all of my usernames on the dating site OkCupid.

Am I sharing this to show you how to craft a successful username?  I wish that were the case.  Sadly, I’m sharing this because, as of the start of 2018 (and for some people, today), OkCupid will be removing usernames for good.  So, if you’re a MusicLoverFromAK, you’ll just be known as Trisha now.  Or, if you’re a YogaPatsFan, then you’ll be called Steve from now on.  And, of course, if you’re Jenetics, as my cousin was to share her name as a pun on what she does for a living, she’ll just be Jen now, in a sea of a million other Jens.  As our beloved President (I sure hope sarcasm comes out in writing) would say in a late-night tweet—SAD!

Now, Tinder and all of the other dating apps have always just used first names, generally pulled from one’s Facebook account.  And it works for the apps.  But, OkCupid (aka OkC) was different.  OkCupid has a much longer profile, a la Match.com or eHarmony, where you can learn more about someone besides just swiping right on a picture (although OkC did introduce a swiping function on its app in order to compete).

Here’s why I contend that this is a change not for the better but for the worse:

1. Anonymity

With your real name, it’s much easier for someone to look you up on social media.  Just put together a first name and a job, and it’s a pretty easy sleuthing mission.  I believe names should be shared if and when someone chooses to share them.

2. Creativity

Someone’s username is a testament to his or her desire to be creative.  I would be much more inclined to write to a MusicLoverFromAK (since I know this person is into music and is from Alaska—pretty cool) than I would a Sam or a Pat.  A unique and clever username shows that the user has taken the time to think it through and is perhaps more invested in the dating process because of that.

3. Uniqueness

While OkC got rid of its function that allows someone to look up a profile by the person’s username, you were still able to back into it by using a link like this:

https://www.okcupid.com/profile/username

Now, with so many Bobs and Joes and Erikas (oh my!), how will a user be able to look someone up?  When I work with my clients, I need to be able to see their profiles in order to critique them.  This makes is much more difficult.

Addendum: I just checked, and even after you change your name to your first name, the link (as I shared above) still uses the person’s original username.  For example, even if I changed my name to Erika, my link would be https://www.okcupid.com/profile/iamawesome. (Don’t click on this link since I made it up… although, I do, of course, like to think I’m awesome!)

4. Honesty

Even with this new rule, all users are prompted to enter their first names themselves.  What makes OkC think that people will be honest about their name?  I have an account I use to search for clients’ potential matches (an incognito account).  I just named myself Jerry.  Is my name Jerry?  Nope.  It’s not Ben, either.

I’m not sure why OkC would penalize all of the people with smart and fun usernames for the few who game the system to write something inappropriate.  And, if someone is inclined to write something inappropriate, then that’s information that would be useful to know up front.  As in, if someone wrote “d*ick” or “sex” in his username, I’d steer clear of that profile.

I’ll finish with my rant here.  OkC, I still love you, but this decision is one ForTheBirds.  Oh wait, I can’t use that as my name.  Okay, this one is not for Erika.

Source: https://theblog.okcupid.com/an-open-letter-on-why-were-removing-usernames-addressed-to-the-worst-ones-we-ve-ever-seen-dd017c75d49a

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Henry90210

283017390

BlueEyedWriter

NatsFanFromAK

If I gave you these four online dating usernames (all made up, of course), whose profile do you think you’d click on first?  I’d venture to say, solely based on the username, that you’d choose the third or fourth one.  Am I right?  While the username is sometimes an afterthought for online daters, I encourage you to think of it more as an executive summary.  It is one additional chance to share an extra tidbit about yourself in online dating land.  Using a computer-generated number or your first name is analogous to wearing a black suit and white shirt amidst a line of others in a black suit and white shirt.  Having a fun, clever username adds some flair, like apurple checkered tie or pink nails with fancy designs on them.  (Yes – those are my nails below.  Like?)

Let’s say you walked into a bookstore, and there was a book called, “The Scientific Answer to Your Most Common Questions.”  Would you buy it?  Now, what if the title was instead “Why Do Men Have Nipples?: Hundreds of Questions You’d Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini” that graced the shelf?  Perhaps some of us, out of sheer embarrassment, would opt for the first choice, but I’m guessing that more of us would at least be intrigued by the scandalous title of the second choice… and then maybe go home and buy it online so no one can tell just how intrigued we are.  (And for the record, this is a real book.  I own it.  Don’t judge.)

Now, back to usernames…

When online dating, one objective is to catch someone’s attention quickly.  There are so many options out there that it’s important to take every opportunity to differentiate yourself.  As an exercise, think of two or three words that really define you – nouns, verbs, adjectives, anything.  Then, try to string them together into a username.  I’d much rather date a “NatsFanFromAK” over a “283017390” any day.  This username intrigues me.  When did the person move from Alaska?  And why would he then become a Nationals fan?  (Don’t get me wrong – I love my home team.)  I’ve learned a lot about this person in a mere 13 characters.  If anything, your potential matches know that you put in the extra time and effort to come up with something creative, even if it only took a minute.  Let’s also try to avoid anything negative, like “JustGotDumped” or “LonelyManHere.”

Before you take the leap and post your username, though, make sure it doesn’t have any undesired meanings.  For example, if you’re from Virginia but cheer for New York football teams, you might still want to stay away from something like “VAGiantsFan.”  Along those lines, if you’re from Alabama, definitely avoid things like “AnALfan.”  Or how about “Buttongirl,” who loves her collection of vintage buttons and brooches?  It’s probably best to leave anything that might be misconstrued as a body part out of your name.  And lastly – the pièce de résistance – it might be a good idea to check your username in Urban Dictionary before you post it.  There was a “Tossed Salad” incident on JDate that I don’t want to happen to you, too.

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