So, what exactly is a situationship, and how do you navigate one?

1. What Is a Situationship?

A situationship is that in-between stage where you’re more than just friends but not quite in a committed relationship. (The name is just as ambiguous as the actual thing.) You might be spending time together, going on dates, and having physical intimacy, but there’s no official label. It’s a relationship without the definition—a “ship” without the anchor.

2. The Appeal of Situationships

Why do situationships happen? To start, they can be low-pressure and convenient. In a world where everyone seems to be juggling careers, family, social lives, and personal growth, a situationship offers the perks of a relationship without the demands. You get companionship, intimacy, and someone to spend time with—without the serious talks or long-term planning. For some people, this is exactly what they’re looking for. But for others (dare I say, many), it’s a temporary state that leaves them yearning for clarity and commitment.

3. Signs You’re in a Situationship

• Lack of labels: You haven’t defined the relationship, and there’s no talk of exclusivity.
• Inconsistent communication: You might go days or even weeks without hearing from someone, only to pick up right where you left off with no reference to the time lapse.
• No future plans: Conversations about the future are vague or nonexistent. You’re living in the moment, which seems like a good thing for a short while, but you’re not sure where it’s going.
• Emotional ambiguity: You feel like you’re walking on eggshells when it comes to discussing feelings. There’s a sense of uncertainty about how the person you’re dating feels about you.

4. The Emotional Toll of a Situationship

While situationships can be enjoyable, they can also take a toll on your emotional well-being, especially if you’re hoping for more. The uncertainty can lead to anxiety, frustration, and self-doubt. You might find yourself constantly analyzing every interaction, trying to decipher what they’re thinking or where things are headed. If it’s causing more stress than happiness (as in, are you miserable or anxious more than 50% of the time… or are you only happy when you’re physically together?), it might be time to reassess what you need from this connection.

5. How to Navigate a Situationship

If you’re in a situationship and feeling uncertain, here are some steps to take:

• Know your worth: First and foremost, remember that you deserve clarity and respect in any relationship. Don’t settle for less just because you’re afraid of losing the connection. You don’t have to live in the status quo.
• Communicate openly: If you’re looking for more than what the situationship is offering, it’s crucial to communicate your feelings and expectations. Have a candid conversation about where you stand and where you’d like things to go. And be okay with any response.
• Be honest with yourself: Ask yourself if this situationship is truly fulfilling your needs. If not, it might be time to move on and seek a relationship that aligns with your desires. I promise, you’ll be okay.

6. When to Walk Away

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is walk away. It’s not easy, especially if you’ve developed real feelings, but staying in a state of uncertainty can prevent you from finding the committed relationship you truly want. As a note—an important note—walking away doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Quite the opposite, in fact. It means you’ve recognized your worth and chosen to prioritize your happiness. Being with someone isn’t the end goal. Being happy is.

7. Turning a Situationship into a Relationship

If you’re hoping to turn a situationship into a more committed relationship, you have to have an honest conversation about your intentions. Be clear about what you want, and give the other person the opportunity to express their feelings. While there’s no guarantee that they’ll want the same thing (in fact, chances are slim or else it likely would have turned into something before), being upfront can help you both determine if you’re on the same page.

Some final thoughts:

Situationships are a reflection of two things: our current dating culture (fluid, fast-paced, and often undefined) and some people’s interest in keeping someone around because something feels better than nothing… and the other person’s acceptance of that.

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As a dating coach, I’ve seen firsthand how recognizing warning signs early on can save you from heartache down the road. So, let’s delve into eight actual red flags to make note of when evaluating potential partners.

1. Unreliability: Imagine making plans for a date, only for your date to cancel 20 minutes before without a valid excuse… or fail to show up altogether. If this becomes a recurring pattern (although, I would keep my eyes open if it happens even once), it’s a clear indication that they likely don’t value your time or prioritize your relationship.

• A negative attitude (or blatant meanness) towards other people: While enjoying a night out together, your date criticizes the restaurant staff for minor mistakes or makes disparaging remarks about strangers within earshot. Pay attention to how they treat those around them because it can reveal underlying issues with empathy and respect for others.

• Controlling behavior: How would you feel if your partner insists on knowing your whereabouts at all times, monitors your interactions with friends and family, and becomes visibly upset when you assert your independence? These controlling tendencies, whether they stem from jealousy or something else, can escalate over time and lead to feelings of suffocation and resentment within the relationship. You’re allowed to have your own friends and your own life. In fact, it’s essential to maintaining a healthy balance.

• Refusal to compromise: Despite your efforts to find common ground and make decisions together, whether it’s as simple as what to order on a menu or as large as how you do your work, this person dismisses your preferences and insists on having their own way. Healthy relationships, romantic or otherwise, thrive on respect and compromise, so be wary of partners who refuse to meet you halfway.

• Inconsistent Treatment: Your partner showers you with affection and attention one moment, only to withdraw and become distant without explanation. Some might call it breadcrumbing. Whatever it is, it’s confusing and unsustainable. Their inconsistent behavior leaves you feeling confused and unsure of where you stand in the relationship. You shouldn’t have to live like that, wondering which version of this person you’re going to get on any given day.

• Avoidance of accountability: Essentially, can they acknowledge your point of view and apologize if necessary? When conflicts arise, do they deflect blame onto others or refuse to take responsibility for their actions? Of course, it’s never their fault! Instead of addressing issues head-on, they make excuses or shift the focus away from their behavior, making it hard to resolve conflicts and build trust.

• Disregard for boundaries: You express discomfort with certain behaviors, but someone continues to push your limits without consent. Whether it’s crossing physical, emotional, or personal boundaries, this lack of respect can erode trust and lead to feelings of resentment.

• Intense early attachment: Call it “love bombing” if you like, but someone declares their love for you early in the relationship, through actions or words, and talks about a future together before you’ve had the chance to truly get to know each other as individuals. Feeling infatuated in the early stages of dating might seem normal, but be aware of partners who rush into commitment without allowing the relationship to develop organically. Some people call this “future faking” also.

Noticing and addressing these dating red flags is essential for protecting your emotional well-being and ensuring a healthy, fulfilling relationship. Notice I didn’t say “looking for red flags”—big difference. Trust your instincts, communicate openly with your partner, and don’t hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or a trusted professional if you have concerns about your relationship. Remember, you deserve to be with someone who respects and values you for who you are.

The post Dating Red Flags: Signs to Watch Out for in Potential Partners appeared first on .

She told me via text, “I have to be honest, he’s not my type and I’m not attracted to him, but I will of course meet him for a drink tomorrow as I wouldn’t want to hurt someone or cancel last minute.” My client also suggested that she show me some of the men on the apps that she was interested in so I could get a “better sense of the guys that interest me.”

I replied, “I appreciate the feedback. Let’s leave the possibility of a pleasant surprise open for tomorrow. And then I’m happy to discuss next week. I think I have a pretty good sense of your type, but it obviously also depends on who answers and can carry a conversation.”

So she went on the date (glad she took my advice)… and it went much better than she expected.

“Great guy!!!” she said in a survey following the meet-up. “I was pleasantly surprised so thank you for that as this was initially not my type. He is extremely warm-hearted, well-mannered, intellectually stimulating, and we had a lot talk about. For the most part of the date, I felt a great vibe between us and could see myself continuing to see him. We had a lot in common regarding work and education so it was really nice to speak with him and the conversation was flowing.”

My client said that instead of picking up on something she didn’t like and shutting down the opportunity to meet someone new, “I just went with it and felt great.”

I understand that everyone’s time is valuable, so it’s easy to write off someone as just “not my type.” But what does that really mean? For everyone, it’s probably a little different, but in essence, there’s something about that person that you aren’t 100% in love with. Maybe they mention an interest you don’t share (you’re an artist, they’ve never been in a museum) or you’re not immediately attracted to them physically (more likely). Either way, none of those things are the linchpin in a successful relationship. Instead, it’s best to go into a first date with an open mind — and as my client found out, there’s a chance that you’ll be surprised by the results.

It’s difficult to go on a first date with zero expectations, but it’s important to not overthink. Instead, let the relationship progress naturally… and enjoy every step of the process of getting to know someone, even if they’re not “the one.” Who knows? They could make a great friend or match for someone else in your life. Maybe it’ll just be a funny story or an experience where you learn something new. That’s okay! And definitely not a waste of your time.

As some food for thought, what is a “type” anyway? Is it really just a pattern? Embracing the unexpected can lead to some of the most fulfilling connections. The concept of a “type” often stems from superficial preferences or preconceived notions that may not be indicative of genuine compatibility. My client’s experience serves as a testament to the idea that being open-minded can pave the way for surprising and meaningful connections. So, the next time you’re tempted to dismiss someone as “not your type,” consider the possibility that you might be overlooking a chance for something truly special to unfold.

I’ll always encourage my clients to take every dating opportunity that comes their way… and I do really enjoy it when my advice pays off.

The post Why “Not My Type” Is Hurting Your Chances of Meeting a Perfect Match appeared first on .

I recently shared a great example of how to ask someone out on a second date. After the first date with someone new, the guy (in this case) messaged my client (a woman) starting with a quick inside joke about the meeting: “Saw you finally, albeit only after you found me,” referencing who spotted whom first.

He continued, “Thanks again for a lovely evening. It was a pleasure to meet you and start to get to know you a little bit. I’m definitely excited to see you again and learn more. Perhaps Wednesday or next Sunday if your schedule permits.”

Let me tell you why this is a perfect first date follow-up:

1. It does a great job of telling the person that he had a great time on the date and is very interested in meeting again.
2. The message gives a few options for dates to get together again but with flexibility.
3. It’s short and to the point.
4. It allows an opt-out in case my client didn’t want to see him again.

Direct and honest communication is such an overlooked yet simple tactic in dating. This message had no ambiguity (leaving the other person wondering, “Did he like me?” or “Does he want to see me again?”) but also didn’t force a second date — it expressed the person’s intentions and hopes but left room for a reply or other ideas.

Another great way to text someone about a second date is by coming up with a suggestion based on something you found to have in common. If it turns out that they’re an air hockey champ, maybe you suggest heading to the arcade for a face-off.

Another client recently asked me, “One place where I struggle is where/when/how to ask for a second date. Do I do it during the first date or over text later?” And here is how I answered: “Over text later. Say at the end of the date, ‘I had a great time and would love to do it again. I’ll be in touch tomorrow.’ It gives her a night to think about it, and then it makes you a man of your word when you actually get in touch tomorrow. Win-win.”

But remember that no matter how well-crafted a message asking someone out on a second date is, sometimes the sparks just aren’t there. When this happens, it’s important to let the other person know and not ghost, or ignore, them. You can write a simple message like, “It was nice meeting you the other night, but unfortunately, I didn’t feel the connection I’m looking for. I wish you all the best.” Like the second date ask, it’s direct and honest, leaving no room for speculation or “What did they mean by that?”

Of course, I’m hoping these two go on that second date — in fact, I want everyone to go on the second date if you’re even on the fence about it. First dates can be nerve-wracking, and a second date might be where you both relax a little bit more and go beyond surface-level conversations, getting to know each other better. The outcomes of a second date are undeniably win-win: you either are pleasantly surprised at how well it goes, or you confirm for yourself 100% that this person is not a match. Who knows? You might be figuring out the best message to plan a third date.

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To avoid ghosting, stalls in conversation, and some of the other pitfalls, I’ve created these templates/scripts for common situations we’ve all come across. They work because they hold the other person accountable while pushing the relationship forward — or make it very clear that it’s time to move on.

The line: “Thanks so much for a nice time [the other night]. Unfortunately, I just didn’t feel the connection I’m looking for, but I wish you nothing but the best!”

When to use: After a first date where the other person asks you out again, but you don’t want to go.

No one likes to be ghosted (when someone ignores or drops off from the other person without any explanation), so it’s always best to be straightforward when you didn’t feel a connection and have no intention of seeing someone again. This template lets the other person know where you stand while still being kind and allows them to feel open to pursue other options. Be aware that some people don’t always take the news well. Still, it’s better than leaving someone wondering, “Are we going to see each other again?”

The line: “I just wanted to check back in and see if you still wanted to connect.”

When to use: After you’ve had a solid back-and-forth conversation on the app but the other person drops off.

There’s nothing more frustrating than a conversation seemingly going well only for the other person to disappear into thin air. This template allows you to follow up with the person without appearing overly eager, disappointed, or frustrated. After all, life happens — maybe the person had a busy work week or personal matters to attend to, meaning dating apps took a temporary backseat. This message can reopen the conversation. However, if they still don’t respond, you have your signal to move on.

The line: “Hey! I really enjoyed chatting with you, but I can’t tell from our messages if you’re looking to meet (again). Let me know your thoughts.”

When to use: After a first date when you would like to see the other person again, but the other person continues to text as if interested with no indication of meeting again.

It’s a common annoyance for people using dating sites: they want a relationship, not a pen pal. With this line, you’re putting the ball in their court: would you like to go on another date or not? The right connection should be excited to see you again — and make time in their schedule to do so.

The line: “It’s been good. I’ve met some interesting people! Just looking for the right connection.”

When to use: When someone asks, “How’s this app treating you?” or “How’s online dating going for you?”

It’s a common question during the early stages of messaging (though I wish it weren’t), but don’t use it as an invitation to complain about the bad first dates or the people who clearly were using pictures from 10 years ago on their profiles. For now, keep it positive. This message answers the question while looking ahead by clearly stating what you’re hoping to get out of the experience. Hopefully, the other person is looking for the same.

The line: “It’s a date.”

When to use: Once you’ve finalized the date, time, and location of your meeting.

It’s short, simple, sweet, and puts a nice punctuation mark on your conversation about meeting in person. “It’s a date” also reiterates your goal: a first date where you get to know each other better and see if there’s a connection. I also recommend messaging or texting the day before/the morning of the date to confirm that you’re still on and exchanging phone numbers in case plans suddenly change.

It’s not always easy to communicate in the digital world, and all of us have misunderstood the tone behind a text or read an email without a hint of sarcasm where it was intended by the sender. That’s why these messages are helpful — they’re direct to help you get the answers you need without becoming aggressive or possessive. Having these lines in your back pocket will come in handy, saving you the stress of composing the perfect message and moving the relationship where it needs to go… even if that place is nowhere. It’s better to know, right?

The post 5 Scripts to Have in Your Online Dating Arsenal — When to Use Them and Why They Work appeared first on .

What you write in your online dating profile requires careful thought — after all, it’s giving the reader (a potential match) the first impression of who you are and what you’re all about. But photos require an equal amount of attention, if not more.

People often have short attention spans on dating apps and websites. If it’s not immediately apparent who they’re looking at and deciding whether to talk to, they’ll likely move on to the next option. That’s why picking photos is so important — just one game of “Which person in the photo is it?” or apparent filter and they might give up.

Read on for five photos that should stay on your camera roll but off your dating profile:

1. Group Shots

I’ve heard people say that they use group shots in their profiles because they think it makes them look social. However, it quickly becomes a “Who am I looking at?” scenario, which can be frustrating. Even if someone finds you, group photos leave you open to comparisons — or, in the worst case, “Is your friend single?” Your dating profile is all about you, not your friends, so keep it focused on solo snaps.

2. Bathroom and Mirror Selfies

I get it — you just got your hair done, you’re feeling great, and the lighting is perfect. But no matter how good you look, there’s nothing that dampens the mood like a toilet in the background of a photo. (Nobody wants to think about that.) Mirror and bathroom selfies look immature and can be taken as vanity. And please, I’m begging you, no gym mirror selfies with your shirt off.

3. Snaps with Pets that Aren’t Yours

So your friend has an adorable Golden Retriever? That’s great. But if Fluffy isn’t yours, he shouldn’t be in your profile. It can be confusing when you have pictures with a dog and your profile reads “no pets.” Plus, it can stop a conversation in its tracks. When someone messages you with a question about the pet, then you share that it’s not yours, they might feel like they don’t know where to take the conversation since they thought they found something you have in common. But a selfie with a giraffe? Definitely profile-worthy.

4. Filtered or Heavily Edited Photos

Rule of thumb: your photos should look like you. Filters or edited pictures may get you more attention, but at the end of the day, they just lead to an uncomfortable first meeting when someone leaves feeling deceived. That also means anything that obstructs your face — sunglasses, masks, and hats, for example — should only make an appearance or two in your photos rather than all of them. Don’t hide yourself, either behind a filter or a hat.

5. Photos with Children

While you should definitely be truthful in your profile about having children, I wouldn’t recommend including them in your photos — it’s best to keep their images private. Furthermore, don’t include photographs of kids that aren’t yours, even if they’re family. In addition to sending mixed messages, I’m going to guess their parents won’t be thrilled to find their likeness on a dating app.

Like it or not, people are looking at your photos when deciding if they should connect online. I recommend that your first photo to be a clear profile shot of you smiling. You should also include a full-body photo as well as some pictures that show your interests — traveling, cooking, hiking, dancing — which make great conversation starters, or “message bait.”

At the end of the day, your photos are an extension of your profile, showing who you are and what you like to do. People want to know who they’re talking to, and anything that gets in the way of that might result in a left swipe.

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I was on the phone earlier today with a client who, unfortunately, is fresh out of a relationship and going through a breakup. She asked me, in no uncertain terms, “Can I speed up the healing process? How can I just get over this?” I immediately thought about a former version of myself. The 10-year-ago version where I was sitting on the couch in my therapist’s office asking her the exact same question. And she said some version of this to me: “The only way out is through.” While it may sound cliché, she was right.

As I say frequently (and in articles in the past, which is why I want to address it again), I believe that there are two main components to getting over someone—time and, eventually, someone new. Sadly, many people skip the “time” portion and jump right to the part where they want to meet someone else, often to fill a void and not feel the pain. 

This same client, the one I was talking to today, had even suggested getting back on the dating sites before the breakup (she saw it coming) in order to soften the blow. Not only would that be unethical—or at least awful karma—but it would also do her a disservice not to be able to sit in her feelings and properly mourn the relationship. Giving yourself permission to grieve is not only okay, but it’s encouraged. This means allowing yourself to feel the emotions that come with the end of a relationship. Whether it’s sadness, anger, or confusion, it’s important to acknowledge and process these feelings.

I also understand that loneliness can set in after a relationship ends, especially if you lived together or were spending a significant amount of time together. Try to use that time to your advantage—reconnect with friends, find hobbies that make you happy (for me, it was learning to play mahjong and performing in live storytelling shows), and generally give yourself the time and space to become a complete person again. We all lose ourselves a bit in a relationship, so using this time to learn about yourself and grow will not only help in the healing process but will eventually make you a better partner in the future.

I remember once, maybe six months after that breakup that brought me to the therapist’s office, I was walking down the street with my friend Betsy, and I was wearing hot pink sequined sneakers (ones my ex did not like, mind you). She looked at me and said, “You’re back!” I still think about that. I needed that time to become myself again. 

During the “time” component of a breakup, it’s also important to shield yourself from the pain of seeing your ex on social media, perhaps enjoying life (though we know people curate what they post) and potentially with someone else. It will feel really hard in the moment, but like ripping off a Band-Aid, the best way to heal will be to block this person on all social media platforms. I know the drive to online stalk will be there—I get it, I’ve done it—but often, ignorance is, in fact, bliss. 

Then, when you feel ready, or at least curious about other people again, then it’s time to enact the “someone else” portion of the process. Maybe that means going back onto Bumble. Maybe it means going to a speed-dating event. Or maybe it just means saying hi to a new person you wouldn’t have before. Or going to an event that might be slightly out of your comfort zone. 

There’s no silver bullet or shortcut to getting over someone. And there’s no right or wrong amount of time it takes. Feelings are not like light switches—you can’t just turn them on or off. They linger… sometimes longer than we might like. But, as I told my client, this too shall pass. Not now, not tomorrow, but one day. And I’ll be there for her in the process. 

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I’m going to come right out and say it: ghosting hurts! If you’ve ever been ghosted—that heart-sinking feeling when someone you were connecting with or dating suddenly disappears without a trace—you’re not alone. Far from it. Ghosting can be hurtful and confusing—there’s no way around that. But, that feeling doesn’t have to rule your life. Instead, let’s look at some advice to help reclaim your confidence in the dating world. 

1. Consider sending a “closure” message. 

This is advice I have given before, and admittedly, not every dating coach agrees. I understand that when someone ghosts you, you may not want to give them the satisfaction of showing them that you cared or that it hurt. But you did care. And it did hurt. And I encourage everyone to express how someone’s actions made them feel. So, if you were ghosted, I recommend saying something like this:

“Hi [person’s name who ghosted], I had really enjoyed our time together and was hoping to continue getting to know each other, so I’m disappointed I didn’t hear back from you. Just wanted to close the loop. Wish you the best.”

Here’s what this message does: Shows that you noticed the other person’s behavior (the ghosting) and didn’t like it, gives you the final word, and, in the absence of the other person providing closure for you, you have now given it to yourself. 

Sending this message is the end. Once you send it, delete it from your phone. You will not be getting a response from the ghoster. That’s not the point of the message. The ghoster already closed the door for you. You’re just using the deadlock. 

2. Allow yourself to feel.

Feelings of anger, hurt, or disappointment are completely normal after being ghosted. In fact, they are often worse than when someone actually breaks up with you because they’re combined with confusion and uncertainty. Give yourself permission to process those emotions and mourn the “could have been.”

3. Don’t blame yourself.

It’s not you; it’s them. Truly. Ghosting is a reflection of the other person’s inability to communicate maturely, not a reflection of your value or worth. No one has the right to determine that but you. So try to avoid internalizing or blaming yourself for what happened. There are often no predictors of when someone will ghost, so you can’t kick yourself for missing something. 

4. Don’t social media stalk.

Yes, this person is alive. Yes, they are avoiding you. I take that back—they are ignoring you, not avoiding you. So don’t give them another minute of your time. Block on all social media platforms immediately. This is for your own mental health and sanity. 

5. Don’t social media stalk.

Regardless of how awful this feels, remember that, in the words of Ted Lasso, all people are different people. Just because the next person you date has a few things in common with the person who ghosted you, that does not mean the outcome will be the same. 

One final note on whether to know if you’re being ghosted and how it relates to this last point:

I received this question the other day: “We had two very fun dates, and we got along very well. We talked every day from the first date. Yesterday he called me on the phone, but today I wrote to him and he never answered me. Should I wait? Or just move on?”

My response was this: “You’re letting a little delay in text overshadow two amazing dates and daily communication?! Take a step back, breathe, and have the confidence that nothing has changed since your last conversation. He’s probably at the movies!” 

Here’s the thing—it sounds like she’s been ghosted in the past (and perhaps has some anxious attachment), but based on this interaction alone, she is not being ghosted at all. All of the negative energy from those past experiences is creeping into something new and potentially wonderful, and I just hope her worries don’t actually cause her to behave differently, and thereby blame this new guy she likes for someone else’s misdeeds. Then history has a chance of repeating itself.  

In the end, ghosting is not going anywhere. It should, but it won’t. Why? Technology. Some people’s inability—or lack of desire—to communicate like an adult. We can’t control other people, though. All we can do is be aware of how we feel, respond appropriately, and move forward… with someone more deserving of our time. 

The post How to Get Past Ghosting appeared first on .

They continued messaging each other, trying to find out a time to get together again — but had trouble finding a day that worked for both of them. When they finally agreed on meeting the next day, she suggested playing mini golf, to which he asked to do something less active since he had a hectic day and another busy one tomorrow. When she responded by asking for a good location for him to meet, she was surprised when he replied by saying that their time had passed and wished her luck.

“I can’t help but feel like he took his bad day out on me,” she said. “I am curious what changed in such a short window.”

Here’s what I told her: “I understand your frustration, but casual to him meant easy, and when the planning became more complicated, he decided it wasn’t worth it to him.”

I added that this might have been a blessing in disguise. While she wanted a long-term relationship, at least ultimately, he made it clear that he couldn’t (or wasn’t willing to) provide that. I told my client that I was glad that he cut things off because she wants more than he can give — even if it does feel confusing and disappointing in the short term.

People often say they want honesty, both in a relationship and before that in the dating stage. But when someone is truthful about what they want, you have little choice but to believe them — and then it’s up to you to decide if that’s what you’re truly looking for. 

The seriousness of a relationship is just one thing that people may not see eye-to-eye about. If a person isn’t willing to travel for dates, then you have to be okay with being the one to make some extra effort to see them. Or not. If someone says they can’t afford certain things, then you have to take that into consideration. The bottom line is this: if someone says they can’t or won’t do something, you can’t expect them to do it.

I believe that dating shouldn’t be a matter of convenience — just because someone is easy to spend time with doesn’t mean they’re worth that time. Back to my client from the beginning: She was clearly putting more effort into the situation, and as soon as things weren’t simple (despite her best efforts to accommodate him), he called it off. While she could have had a nice time with this man for a few months, he made it clear that he wasn’t ready for a full-blown relationship. After a few months of dating, he still might not want to take things to the next level (after all, he did say that). Therefore, the time she continued spending with him — maybe had they lived closer or if their schedules aligned better — she could have instead been with someone looking for the same thing as her (and someone who jumped at the chance to play mini golf!). I know there is someone out there who is ready for a strong relationship and will happily join her at mini golf — and that’s who is worth putting the time and effort into.

The post “I Can’t” Means “I Can’t” & “I Won’t” Means “I Won’t” appeared first on .

Pro: People are generally happier in the summer.

I know it’s not only me who sometimes struggles with the idea of getting dressed and leaving the house during the coldest months of the year — just bundling up in a winter coat seems like a chore. But when the temperature rises, people want to go out and do things, which includes meeting for dates. Plus, there’s a general sense of ease and excitement brought on by the warm weather, lessened work schedules, and an assortment of activities available.

Con: It’s travel season.

Many people use their vacation time in the summer months — which is great, except for when you’re trying to find a time to meet someone you’ve connected with online. Everyone has a busy schedule, and the warm weather months might make agendas even more packed than usual, even with time off from work. 

Pro: You have more time off.

All those vacation days and summer Fridays might just come in handy. While vacations might make meeting a little tricky sometimes, having a lighter workload — as many do in the summer months — will give your mind the ability to focus a bit more on dating. Even if meeting is difficult, it gives you plenty of time to freshen up your bio, take new photos, and spend some extra time swiping and chatting with potential matches. 

Con: It’s notoriously “fling” season.

The casual nature of summer sometimes spills over into the dating world — there’s a reason “cuffing” season isn’t June through August. Summer flings can be romantic and exciting — but they can also leave you heartbroken when the back-to-school ads take over. The best way to avoid that is to be upfront about your expectations for the relationship, and if that’s a serious one, everyone will be aware off the bat.

Pro: There’s no shortage of date ideas.

While dates are limited in many areas due to weather in the winter months, there are practically no limits to the fun activities you can do in the summer. Meet at a beach bar (or the actual beach, depending on where you live), play a round of mini golf, take the dogs on a walk in the park, spend a date at the amusement park… not to mention all the gatherings with friends and family that are enhanced by a plus-one. And if you want to stay indoors, movies, dinner, and happy hour are still options.

At the end of the day, there is no bad or good time to date based on a calendar — it should be based on you. Are you ready? Do you have the time to explore your dating options? Are you stressed about work or personal matters? Then it may be a good time to take a break from dating apps and give yourself some grace. But if you’re excited to dip your toe into the dating pool (see what I did there?), then go for it. There is no reason to wait until a certain month to find a meaningful relationship.

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